As to project an air of confidence, and seeming self-assurance? Did they use words larger than necessary? How many words did they use? Was it a reasonable amount? Did they shoot off on a tangent, as to avoid the subject at hand? Did they give you a straight answer? Did they answer at all? Did there eyes dart from side to side? To the left, to the right? Did they look up, away, down, into your eyes? Did they fidget? Look repulsed? Shock & awe? Satisfied? Nonplussed? In the time before they answer what were they doing? Taking a deep breath? Looking away? Trying to stare into your very soul? Trying to search out the answer you seek?

Whether or not it is the true, or a fabrication of fiction. A bare thread of a lie, or a neatly woven tapestry spun into an elaborate picture of chivalry, daring, self sacrifice, and atonement? Can this person be trusted? Have they always been telling the truth? Are there lies just so grand and majestic that the mere fiction of there truth seems to actually be an irrefutable fact. Why would they lie? Lies like ripples in a glass resonate, and overlap. If you asked them if they were lying how would it be done? Directly right then and there? What if the truth was the answer present, and you are now they fool? What if the don’t confess? Most won’t lies trigger more lies. It’s not true, not all lies hurt. Everybody does it.

Everybody. Whether it be the lies of our childhood, teenage years, or adulthood. When people have mastered their craft sunk so deep into a web of lies it becomes easier than truth. Even when the truth is an easier answer. One day everyone must attest for the lives they’ve lived.

Without further troubling the reader, the reason for my spiritual chaos and the constant war between right and wrong in my head is Euthanasia. For those who are unaware, it is the process of painlessly helping an incurably ill person to die, also very well known as “assisted suicide” and “mercy killing”. Generally euthanasia is performed by lethal injection, using the same drugs as those on death row are performed. Having it strictly banned in different parts of the world, there are reasons for supporting and opposing euthanasia which punctuate discussions in the mind of an individual constantly.

Karen Ann Quinlan collapsed on April 15th, 1975. She was twenty-one years old. Within hours, she entered a coma from which she could never recover. Her parents, Roman Catholics, knew their daughter would not want to be kept alive by extraordinary means. A year later, as Karen lay in a “persistent vegetative state,” the courts finally allowed her treatment to be stopped; but artificial feeding was continued and she was maintained as a living dead body until June 1985, when she eventually died of pneumonia. Consequently her case stimulated thousands of letters of sympathy and fuelled the “right to die” movement.

Ramon Sanpedro hunted, through the courts, the assistance of a doctor to help him die with dignity. He was paralyzed in Spain as a result of a swimming accident during his youth. He described himself as “a head attached to a corpse.”

His exact words:
“Why die? Because every journey has its departure time and only the traveler has the privilege and the right to choose the last day to get out.
Why to die?, because at times the journey of no return is the best path that reason can show us out of love and respect for life, so that life may have a dignified death.” Ramon certainly did not suggest how other people confined in the same situation might feel. In fact, there are some people out there who, regardless of having the worst physical complexities in life, take enjoyment in living and continuing life as it follows. But Ramon made his choice and choice should be respected, however ensuring, according to the very concept of Utilitarianism, that no other individual’s life is endangered or pressurized.

Supporters of euthanasia are inclined to believe it is a dignified death and must be legalized as it proves to be a pain-free relief for many terminal patients.

On the contrary, a good question to ask is who benefits from the person dying? If a person dies, who will inherit? Who has the decision power? Is it a medical decision that is totally objective or a decision given by the family members that in some way may be biased? Are we not playing God’s role by choosing the time and procedure of our death? Is euthanasia not a nickname of “murder”?

Does it not rob one of his remaining times on earth? Who has the final say, the patient or the doctor?

The argument rages on and on. There are a lot of what ifs and whos and these need to be scrutinized in detail by lawyers, doctors and predominantly governments.

This article is open to all relevant comments, debate and solutions that bring this war between legitimacy and illegitimacy of euthanasia to a positive end!

However, what hits one with great surprise and emotional disturbance is the suicidal death. It is that one stage in a person’s life when he becomes exceptionally tired to live another day. He becomes so weak and doomed to failure that at this point, suicide is his only answer – the point when he breaks the mirror of his fears into countless pieces and walks over them daringly. He feels no need to tell anybody about what he is going to do next. Perhaps, this is the only time when he thinks about HIMSELF most selfishly and leaves no room for any sort of interference.

I know when a man decides to sit down one day and finish himself and all boundaries of undue tolerance, he must be unafraid of God – for suicide is an unpleasant act in His eyes without any argument. He must be a coward as he chooses to leave the people behind to deal with the mess. Lastly, he must be a loner, unaided and figuratively dead already before committing suicide.

If the issue has become very fragile and you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. I do not wish to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional; only someone who knows what it is like to *feel* suicidal. I do not know who you are or why you are reading this page. I only know for the moment, you are reading it, and that is good! I can assume some of you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you – to sit with you and talk face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”

This means that you can survive suicidal pains if you do either of two things; find a way to reduce your pain or find a way to increase your coping resources. BOTH ARE POSSIBLE!

1. You have to believe that people do get through this — even people who feel as badly as you are feeling right now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things – just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action.
3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4. Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. Im really glad!

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten…! Until they outnumber your sources of pain. Here are a few online links that can be helpful to you a great deal.

• How serious is our condition? …”he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious…” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention… read this.
• Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? …while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Recovery from grief and loss …has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company… many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
• The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us… and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
• Resources about depression …if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.

Other readers, if you know someone who is suicidal… or if you would like to be able to help, if the situation arises, learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.

• Handling a call from a suicidal person …a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.
• What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? …a helpful guide includes Suicide Warning Signs.

And lastly …take care!