————————————————————————————————————————————-

[Joey comes out from his room wearing ridiculous clothes. He has to look nineteen for an audition]
Joey: ‘Sup? ‘Sup, dude?
Chandler: [putting his hands up] Take whatever you want, just please don’t hurt me.
Joey: So, you’re playing a little Playstation, huh? That’s whack. Playstation is whack. ‘Sup with the whack Playstation, ’sup? Huh? Come on, am I nineteen or what?
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely nineteen.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[after Monica gets a disastrous haircut]
Ross: How’s Monica?
Phoebe: She’s calmed down a bit. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Ross: How’s the hair?
Phoebe: I’m not gonna lie to you Ross. It doesn’t look good.
Joey: Can we see her?
Phoebe: No, your hair looks too good. I think it would only upset her.
Rachel: Oh.
Phoebe: Ross, you can go on in.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and *won*!
Chandler: Ross came fourth and cried!

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that’s ours!

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: We were on a break!
Chandler: Oh, my God! If you say that one more time, I’m going to break up with you!

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: What are you doing tonight?
Chandler: Why, do you have a lecture?
Ross: No.
Chandler: Free as a bird, what’s up?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Chandler: I can handle this. “Handle” is my middle name. Actually, “handle” is the middle of my first name.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Monica: You can’t fire me. I make your decisions and I say, “I’m not fired.” Ha.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Monica: My motto is get out before they go down.
Joey: That is so not my motto.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Chandler: [to Joey who’s removing his tie] Would you put that back on? Monica’s gonna be here any minute.
Joey: But it hurts my Joey’s Apple.
Chandler: [frustrated] Okay, for the last time. It’s not named for each individual man.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[after catching Ross kissing Chandler’s mother in front of the male bathroom]
Joey: I’ll just go pee in the street.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Phoebe: No, huh uh, no way, I’m sorry, not gonna happen.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: Hey, you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: How about you, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, thanks, I’ve already seen one.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[Joey has packed an emergency kit with food, Mad-Libs and condoms]
Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Monica: Whoa. Where you going in those pants? 1982?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[In response to one of Joey’s stupid comments]
Chandler: How do you not fall down more often?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: Hey Ross. If homo sapiens were in fact “homo sapiens”, could that be why they’re extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey! I’m not judging here.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: Wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe: Always.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[Rachel complaining about her father]
Rachel: Oh, it was horrible. He called me “young lady”.
Chandler: Ugh, I hate when my father calls me that.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I really don’t want to.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: You know what? I’d better pass on the game. I’m just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Joey: The hell with hockey. Let’s all do that.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: Oh my God. I’ve become my father. I’ve been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn’t see this coming.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: See? Unisex.
Joey: Maybe *you* need sex. I just had it a few days ago.
Rachel: No, Joey, U-N-I-sex.
Joey: I wouldn’t say no to that.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: I’m sorry your husband cheated on you.
Rachel: I’m sorry your wife is gay.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: [walking out of the bathroom] Mon, I’m gonna check my messages.
Chandler: And you thought of that in there?
Monica: Well, nature called and she wanted to see who else did.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: Rach, you gotta find out if he’s in the same place you are. Otherwise, it’s just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him too long or did that all just make sense?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: Are you sure that on some level you don’t want to take off my bra?
Joey: I don’t have another level!

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: But I-I-I can’t stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I’m supposed to be playing a 19-year-old.
[Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this]
Chandler: So when you said, “Get up early, ” did you mean 1986?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: [drinking a beer on the boat] Look at this clown. Just because he’s got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river.
[yelling]
Joey: Get out of the way jackass.
[to Rachel]
Joey: Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Phoebe: Hey, can we turn on the TV? I think it’s raining outside.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Phoebe: Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Monica: You broke a little girl’s leg?
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Chandler: [reading the paper] Says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night.
[to Ross]
Chandler: Where exactly were you around ten-ish?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Chandler: I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of out secrets.
Joey: What secrets?
Chandler: Oh no-no, Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
[the girls walk away]
Joey: You’ll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: How long do you think, should a girl wait if a guy just broke up with his girlfriend?
Phoebe: A month.
Monica: Really? I’d say two or three.
Joey: Half hour.
Rachel: Interesting.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[Rachel doesn’t take his advice]
Joey: Fine. No one ever listens to me. If the package is this pretty, no one cares what’s inside.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[after hearing about Chandlers breakup with Janice]
Phoebe: Where’s Chandler?
Joey: He’s grieving.
[We see Chandler running outside]
Chandler: I’M FREE. I AM FREE.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Monica: I think I’d be great in a war. I’d, like, get all the medals.
Chandler: Before or after you’re executed by your own troops?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[On living alone]
Joey: I thought it’d be great, you know? have some time alone with my thoughts… turns out, I don’t have as many thoughts as you’d think.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Phoebe: Look, I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.
Monica: Phoebe, your mom killed herself.
Phoebe: She was a drug dealer.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Chandler: I’m not so good with the advice… Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: I don’t want my baby’s first words to be “How You Doing”

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[Joey and Chandler are trying to break into a closet]
Joey: Do you have a bobby pin?
Chandler: Wait.
[runs hands through hair]
Chandler: Oh, that’s right. I’m NOT an eight year-old girl.
Joey: Really? Then why do you throw like one?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: I’m not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he’s divorced.
Monica: No, you go after them five minutes before they get married…

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[Chandler and Joey are being lazy in new recliners, and Chandler ordered pizza to be delivered to Monica’s]
Chandler: Pizza’s on the way. I told you we wouldn’t have to get up.
Joey: What if we have to pee?
[pause]
Chandler: I’ll cancel the sodas…

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: There’s no juice for the people who need the juice and want the juice and I need the juice.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: I’ve never been to an analyst!
Phoebe: And it shows.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: By someone besides Monica?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Rachel: Ok, Joey, we’ll do it one more time. Don’t forget the rules -heads I win, tails you lose.
Joey: Just flip the coin!

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Phoebe: [Pulls out Monica’s old bathing suit] Hey Monica what’s this?
Monica: Oh, that’s my old bathing suit from high school… I was bigger then…
Chandler: Really… I thought that’s what they used to cover Connecticutt when it rained…

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Chandler: And by the way, Count Rushmore doesn’t exist.
Joey: Oh yeah? Then who’s the guy who painted all the faces on the mountain?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Janice: It’s a small world after all.
Chandler: Yeah. And I still don’t get bumped into Beyonce!

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[Monica tells the others that she and Chandler won’t have any more sex before the wedding]
Ross: A no sex pact! I have one of those with every woman in America!

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Monica: I’ll never have a first kiss again.
Phoebe: You’ll have a last kiss.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Joey: How come we don’t have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need shoes.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: You guys won’t believe what I have to do for work today!
Chandler: Yes, but Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: I think it’ll be a boy.
Phoebe: I think it’ll be a girl.
Ross: Phoebe, you thought Ben would be a girl.
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?

————————————————————————————————————————————-
Ross: The door’s closed! I can’t see anything with the door closed!
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.

————————————————————————————————————————————-
[repeated line]
Joey Tribbiani: How you doin’?

Of all the pieces of movies kept in memory, ones that clung the most are the funny ones. Get this for instance, remember Analyze This? Of course you do, one of the funniest mafia movies; and remember Paul Vitti and Dr. Sobel’s first meeting? Short and witty; Paul Vitti is a mafia don who walks into a psychiatrist’s office while trying to keep it a secret.

Paul Vitti: You know me?
Dr. Sobel: Yes.
Paul Vitti: No you don’t.
Dr. Sobel: Okay.
Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper?
Dr. Sobel: Yes.
Paul Vitti: No you didn’t.
Dr. Sobel: I don’t even get the paper.

And then there’s Ace Ventura telling Melissa “If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer” … genuine. While one of the cutest characters in recent cinema experience, the Donkey in Shrek, proudly broadcasts, “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly” and that was of course before he was dusted. One of the best part of Shrek movies is the stupendously stupid dialogues between Shrek and the donkey; take a look at this for example how Shrek tries to talk deep about how ogres are and how donkey perceives it.

Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs.
Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[sighs]
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.

Best thing about humorous dialogues is that they are short and prompt. In Ice Age, an excellent movie, Sid has hardly ignited fire and claims;

Sid: From now on, you’ll have to refer to me as ‘Sid – Lord of the Flame’.
Manfred: Hey, Lord of the Flame, your tail’s on fire.

And Martin Lawrence can’t seem to convince his sister to stay away from dangerous pursuits of criminals;
Marcus: [To his sister, a Miami DEA agent] That was reckless, that was stupid, and that was dangerous. [Pauses] I’m telling Mommy.

And then of course there are dumb moments when Harry and Lloyd meet and greet each other in utmost casual tone;

Harry: Hi Lloyd!
Lloyd: Hi Harry!
Harry: How was your day?
Lloyd: Not bad. Fell off a jet way again.

Amongst all those funny movies and dialogues, there are those serious movies that talk serious business.

No mention of serious movies would be complete without Godfather of course, packed with some great dialogues. Don Corleone advises his son Michael, “Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.” And of course where Michael is asked how he will arrange to buy a hotel from Moe Greene and he says, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.” And in part 2 he recalls one of his father’s advices, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”

Some of my favorite dialogues that have stayed in my memory ever since I first heard them;

“You have to think like a hero merely to behave like a decent human being.” The Russia House.

“Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.” A Beautiful Mind.

“Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it.” Braveheart

“Every man dies, not every man really lives.” Braveheart

“What we do in life echoes in eternity.” Gladiator

“Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” Shawshank Redemption

“Fear can set you prisoner, hope can set you free.” And of course this was the tagline for Shawshank Redemption.

And finally, the dialogues that make you feel like you are falling into that movie and becoming a part of it. I vaguely remember Robin Wright Penn, in the movie Message in a Bottle, suggesting Kevin Costner to visit her in her city and Kevin asks her on the phone, “When do you want me to come?” And Robin Wright says, “Yesterday!” Perfect.

In the same movie, she asks him at some other event, “And you’ll just forget about me, right?” and Costner (playing Garret Blake) says, “Everyday.”

And then of course there is this classic; Jerry Maguire entering the living room looking for his wife says hello and then goes on rumbling all those words.

Jerry Maguire: I love you. You… complete me.
Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at “hello.”

(This was one of my favorite scenes as well and that gives me idea to write an article next time on some of the good movie scenes.)
Anyways, next up in the line is Seth (Nicolas Cage) explaining expressions to Maggie (Meg Ryan) in City of Angels;

Seth: You’re a good doctor.
Maggie: How do you know?
Seth: I have a feeling.
Maggie: Yeah, well that’s pretty flimsy evidence.
Seth: Close your eyes. Just for a second… (touching her hand) what am I doing?
Maggie: You’re… touching me.
Seth: How do you know?
Maggie: Because, I feel it.

And this one’s my favorite when Seth runs into the hospital looking for Maggie while he has fallen from a height to turn a human from an angel (so that he could be with Maggie), and he is all hurt and bleeding. The nurse asks him what happened? And he says, “I fell … (pause) … in love.”

Anna Scott in Notting Hill asks William not to tell anyone about the incident taking place during their first meeting and William in return says, “Of course I wont. I mean I will tell myself sometimes, but I wont believe that.” That was fabulous.
While in the Man in the Iron Mask, D’Artagnan tells Queen Anne, “To love you is treason against France. But not to love you is treason against my heart.” And then Harrison Ford concludes the movie Sabrina as he asks her, “I’ve been following in footsteps all my life. Save me, Sabrina fair, you’re the only one who can.”

To finish this article, there is this cute little dialogue from an Indian movie, don’t remember its name though. Shah Rukh Khan is teasing his lady and she is all irritated and says, “Tum Insaan ho ya Bandar?” And SRK quite innocently asks in return, “Tumhein Kya Pasand hei?” That was prompt.

So here it is then, most probably will follow it up with an article on my favorite movie scenes. Till then, Ciao.

EXT. CAFE REVERIE – EVENING

There is a hint of sun’s presence behind the clouds that
have started gathering over the murky evening sky. It might
start raining anytime. There is just one table and a couple
of chairs placed on the sidewalk just outside the
restaurant. The lamp post is still asleep and there is
humidity in the air awaiting a fresh gust of evening breeze
to inject some life into it.

NARRATOR

Only if life was stagnant I would
have written with all the peace
of mind in the world. She once helped me with
starting up this script and I
wrote many a scenes with her in
my mind, with her sitting next to
me. Today I am again stuck with a
scene … this time, the last one….

Maria appears from the far corner of the street and walks
towards Amir.

MARIA
Hey!

AMIR
Hey!

MARIA
(sitting in a chair
placed across the table)
I thought you would be here.

AMIR
Yeah. Its been long.

MARIA
Yes, its been long. How have you been?

AMIR
Just the usual.

MARIA
You done with your script?

AMIR
Almost … Stuck at the end; cant
figure out how to wind it up.

MARIA
What do you wanna go for, happy
ending?

AMIR
I don’t know, you tell me.

MARIA
How can I tell, its your story.

AMIR
I know, but you started it.

MARIA
Yeah, I did.

AMIR
So?

MARIA
I don’t know. There’s been too
much happening.Its been difficult.

AMIR
Really?

MARIA
Don’t you know?

AMIR
I do, but I thought that was part
of it all. I would never expect
anything to be trouble free.

MARIA
But I thought it would be.

AMIR
Disappointed?

MARIA
No.

AMIR
Hurt?

MARIA
I wish I could say no.

AMIR
Yeah.

MARIA
Can it be undone?

AMIR
I wish I could say yes.

MARIA
Yeah.

AMIR
Don’t meet me in my writings, I
told you that.

MARIA
I remember; I thought it was your
reflection.

AMIR
It is my living.

MARIA
But that passion?

AMIR
I write fiction, I am good at
creating things that don’t exist?

MARIA
But you did it to a real person
this time.

AMIR
I lost control I guess.

MARIA
Do you ever?

AMIR
I did.

MARIA
This is where you wrote your
first scene.

AMIR
This is where it all began.

MARIA
This is where it all ends.

AMIR
It doesn’t have to.

MARIA
But it will?

AMIR
I wont end it.

MARIA
But you wont carry it forward either?

AMIR
But this is the last scene.

MARIA
And not necessarily a happy one?

AMIR
A realistic one I would prefer.

MARIA
Yeah.
(She stands up picking
up her bag and starts
to leave)
Congratulations.

AMIR
For?

MARIA
You just completed your script.

Maria walks away as Amir watches her disappear into another street.

FADE OUT.

EXT. CAFE REVERIE – EVENING

Its just after the rain; the sun hasn’t come out yet and the
streets are still wet. Some chairs are placed on the side
walk alongside the cafe window. A lamp post is just switched
on and is trying to wrap its hazy light around itself. A
fresh stream of fragrance flies in from the far side of the
street, followed by Maria dressed up in elegant gray.
She opens the door of the cafe and takes a look inside; all
the seats are occupied. She looks around and sees AMIR
sitting with his laptop in one of the chairs arranged
exquisitely on the side walk. She stands there for a while,
trying to make a decision.

NARRATOR

This is my favorite place in town
and this is my favorite time of
the day and I still cant write
anything. I am supposed to finish
this script in seven weeks and I
don’t even know how to start it.
May be she could help … May be
… If I stop staring at her…
She stares back at him and then looks at his laptop, a few
books and a journal lying on the table in front of him.

MARIA
You writing something on me?

AMIR
(smiles, squinting his eyes)
No. But seems like a good idea.

MARIA
(walking up to him)
And what would you write?

AMIR
Fragrance!

MARIA
Ahan!!??

AMIR
(waits a while trying
to understand what she meant)
Something like, “She walked in
the company of an unsullied aroma,
her hair wavered in the bouquet
of thriving breeze, her eyes
gleamed like drops of scent, even
her smile was fragrant …

MARIA
Ok, ok, I get the picture.
(she smiled)
So is that all you write about?

AMIR
Most of the times.

MARIA
Why?

AMIR
I don’t write for a reason.

MARIA
Because of lack of it?

AMIR
No, but because I don’t always believe in it.

MARIA
So what do you believe in then?

AMIR
Mental strength.

MARIA
Whatever happened to the heart?

AMIR
Its there. Silent, most of the times.

MARIA
Silence is the other side of fragility.

AMIR
Or may be patience; or may be too much strength.

MARIA
Optimist!

AMIR
Hopelessly.

MARIA
Romantic?

AMIR
Used to be.

MARIA
Pain?

AMIR
No more.

MARIA
Reason?

AMIR
Without one.

MARIA
Coffee?

AMIR
On me.

MARIA
Generous!

AMIR
Not always.

MARIA
Why now?

AMIR
You love finding reasons, don’t you?

MARIA
That’s how I find answers.

AMIR
Why try looking for them?

MARIA
Serenity.

AMIR
Answers is not the answer to it, I guess.

MARIA
Then what is?

AMIR
I don’t want to find out.

MARIA
Afraid?

AMIR
Sometimes.

MARIA
Of?

AMIR
Lacking.

MARIA
Like?

AMIR
Strength. Passion. Life… Words.

MARIA
Words? … Like now?

AMIR
Yes. Writer’s block.

MARIA
You are welcome.

AMIR
For?

MARIA
You just wrote your first scene.

AMIR
(smiles)
Thank you.

Maria stands up, gives him a smile and leaves.

FADE OUT.

The End

Continue reading part 2 >>