The Kefyr Plot
In hindsight the strategists just had to agree: the plot had been brilliant. Optimistic, in many respects and, as with pretty much any plot, devoid of the broader picture or awareness of the real nature of universal life . . . but brilliant, none the less.
The idea, originating from the Kremlin many suspected . . . in the days when ‘The Kremlin’ had generals and politicians from Warsaw to the Whitehouse trembling in their boots. Now, of cause, it was the Beijing back-rooms from which germs of ideas would spread . . . that would have NATO chiefs scratching their furrowed brows. But I digress.
The plot was also simple: Instead of firing expensive guns or rockets to annihilate your foe, or even nuking them from space, you simply get the population that you want to suppress to eat the stuff. With such well know and impressive benefits, would could resist? And with all developed countries genuinely scared of the spread of obesity, all the Western health departments would welcome the wonder substance: eat kefyr and get thin! And so they would! All the little Candida plants would munch away inside the guts of the populous, helping the digestion . . . and however overweight, you could carry on eating all you wanted!
And by then, the conspiracy went, it would be too late: it wouldn’t be the gut that would have been affected: the other, lesser known, parasites within the organism would have established themselves too: in the mind. And here, those who hatched the plan, had to smile, the effects they’d intended were doubled by the shear inertia and lethargy that afflict all the obese folk anyway! The Russia plotters had calculated that by the time the opposition had caught on to the fact that this stuff had originated in the USSR, the zombiefying effect, as they liked to call it, would render totally ineffective any call to arms. From commanders in chiefs to rookies who shouldered the guns, they’d slowly shrug their shoulders, say they couldn’t be bothered and eat another plate of McDonalds . . . washed down, of cause with milk shake made from Kafyr!
But the best laid plans of men, if not of mice, as the saying goes, rarely allows for the reality on the ground . . . amongst real people and real politicians . . . the two groups, as any Buddhist, Yogi or other wise person will tell, behaving in vary different ways:
The Western politicians were too intent on their empire building and party squabbles to notice their citizens getting so fat they could hardly fit in a car seat, let alone walk. By the time they did, these same folk had already become so lethargic they couldn’t be bothered to take the wonder cure! Oh . . . and whilst all this was going on, the empire that was going to rise again and turn the world Communist, had been dismantled into a array of tiny states incapable of any offensive. And why? Here was the irony: in the early days of the plot, all the loyal party workers had been given the kefyr to test it’s effectiveness . . . so when the time came to nip the emerging ‘people power’ in the bud . . . they were too zombiefied to do anything!
Meanwhile, on a little green planet, way out on the Western arm of the Milky Way, the dominant, ruminant, bovine-like inhabitants were meeting. We say, dominant, because they liked to think they were the ones in charge, but we’ll come back to that! They’d been watching the progress of their invasion force with interest, pleased with their strategy: get their cows in place before the predominant species, mankind, was aware enough to KNOW it was an invasion. OK, so it took a few more tens of thousands of years, but what’s a few more centuries when you spend all day chewing the cud?
Now, the plan was paying off. Not only was the world turning vegetarian. . so their own offspring weren’t being eaten, but milk and cheese were consumed by pretty much everyone . . . and with it, their ultimate weapon . . . the kefyr. Long before the KGB had ‘found’ kefyr and realised its potential, the scientists of the Taureans had seen how this friendly, helpful, parasite could help them take over any over planet with the fields and grass their growing population needed. Now they could assemble the bull-ships and get the invasion underway. Or so they thought:
Throughout the collective consciousness of the kefyr was laughter. There was no outwards sign of this to the trillions of cows, humans and millions of other species around the many parallel dimensions within and between which it existed. But the kefyr just smiled inwardly to itself. It KNEW. Slowly but surely it was being digested or ingested into each and every other life-form. Parasite indeed! Had these folks not watched ‘Star Trek Deep Space Nine’? Symbiote. Please! It wasn’t the fault of the kefyr that all these other species were so arrogant it didn’t dawn on them that anything living within them might actually have some sort of sentience! In fact, the kefyr was so much more aware and mentally developed than man, that practically no-one on earth, for example, could begin to comprehend how wise and all-knowing it was.
So wise was this wonder being that it actually wasn’t going to interfere with all these plans of it’s host species . . . why should it!? Why make trouble for itself? Why take CONSCIOUS control of a world or a nation? Who needs THAT sort of hassle!?
Category: Short Stories
