Suicide

Death – a very horrid but truth, such that it is almost impossible to like. The fear of physical pain and misery forms an enclosure around us, so much that we fail to do anything about it and in effect, keep ourselves more engaged in worldly affairs for undying distraction.
No living man knows what death is like. Seeing pictures of the deceased/ wounded in the newspapers or on the television is petty. No one knows what happens next after one’s gone. Those deaths are accidental and merely planned by God.

However, what hits one with great surprise and emotional disturbance is the suicidal death. It is that one stage in a person’s life when he becomes exceptionally tired to live another day. He becomes so weak and doomed to failure that at this point, suicide is his only answer – the point when he breaks the mirror of his fears into countless pieces and walks over them daringly. He feels no need to tell anybody about what he is going to do next. Perhaps, this is the only time when he thinks about HIMSELF most selfishly and leaves no room for any sort of interference.

I know when a man decides to sit down one day and finish himself and all boundaries of undue tolerance, he must be unafraid of God – for suicide is an unpleasant act in His eyes without any argument. He must be a coward as he chooses to leave the people behind to deal with the mess. Lastly, he must be a loner, unaided and figuratively dead already before committing suicide.

If the issue has become very fragile and you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. I do not wish to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional; only someone who knows what it is like to *feel* suicidal. I do not know who you are or why you are reading this page. I only know for the moment, you are reading it, and that is good! I can assume some of you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you – to sit with you and talk face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”

This means that you can survive suicidal pains if you do either of two things; find a way to reduce your pain or find a way to increase your coping resources. BOTH ARE POSSIBLE!

1. You have to believe that people do get through this — even people who feel as badly as you are feeling right now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things – just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action.
3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4. Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. Im really glad!

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten…! Until they outnumber your sources of pain. Here are a few online links that can be helpful to you a great deal.

• How serious is our condition? …”he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious…” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention… read this.
• Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? …while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. Suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Recovery from grief and loss …has anyone significant in your life recently died? You would be in good company… many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
• The stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us… and that we ourselves add to. Stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
• Resources about depression …if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. This is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.

Other readers, if you know someone who is suicidal… or if you would like to be able to help, if the situation arises, learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.

• Handling a call from a suicidal person …a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer.
• What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal? …a helpful guide includes Suicide Warning Signs.

And lastly …take care!