Looking Good, Feeling Fine
I think that looking good has a lot to do with feeling good about yourself and about others. I always knew that the first impression is the last impression that one creates before others which is ever so true and I still believe in that.
Unfortunately the world we live in is a place where people make a lot of assumptions and sometimes it is just the assumptions we have to go by to bring ourselves to conclusions and knowing that it is just not fair but that is just the way it is in today’s society. We really don’t have a lot of free time to analyze a person’s character inside and out so we have to just take and accept what we get.
When I think back about 3 or 4 years ago, I remember a colleague of mine that used to work with me at the time. She was quite a character. I remember how we used to indulge in many various topics of discussion while at work that included Islamic discussions and what we should do or should not do in accordance with the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Now because she was very opinionated, it was never so easy to converse with her or easy to convince her. We would often end up in an argument or disagreement and at times just laugh if off and move forward.
It was often that she used to complain about how her husband was a taxi driver and he would have to work all sorts of crazy hours in the day and in the night to make ends meet and how things were getting very complicated for her to continue to work especially when there was no one to watch over her little children. I used to tell her to quit and spend more and more time at home with the kids so that they could get the undivided attention that they always longed for and deserved. I always told her that it was her fault for neglecting them and being selfish especially if this second income of hers was not necessary to be made at this point. I was sure that one day she would realize what she was doing and just quit her job for the time being, just until the kids got enrolled in school full-time and then to reconsider the working industry if it was absolutely necessary at the time.
I recall one day she came to work and was practically in tears while speaking to me and I couldn’t help but ask what had happened. She said that her husband had been ignoring her for the past few months and last night he started raising his voice with her for no apparent reason saying that she was irresponsible, disrespectful and unorganized. He also continued to tell her that even the secretary at his workplace was looking so professional and sharp with her makeup and all. Today, she was wearing a nice jacket and skirt outfit with long black heels and on the other hand just look at what I had to come home to after such a long, tiring day. Why did you have to wear the same outfit with dried up baby cereal stuck to it the entire day. You didn’t even change your clothes, shower or put any makeup on your face. That is such a turn off for me “, he explained.
Then we talked about this entire situation and I had been completely honest with her and told her that even in Islam it was imperative that we took care of ourselves and our health on a daily basis. I even told her that in Islam, we were obligated to look decent and presentable to our husbands even if she wore hijab it still did not matter. I explained to her as well that if she continued this way, the arguments and disputes would not come to a halt and she and her husband would always be at each others’ throats for no real reasons at all. So one day I had advised her once and for all that she should start applying some makeup, brush up her hair and wear some nice looking clothes before he would come back home at the end of the day, everyday.
At first it did not seem that she liked what I was telling her, however when I did explain the reasons why she needed to do all this for him, she finally realized. I did also forewarn her that if she did not change anytime soon then he would lose interest in her and would sidetrack very easily. Finally she decided to take my advice seriously. I started to see a pleasant change in her day by day and it was rather nice. Her face began to glow and she even admitted that she needed to spend more time at home with her family now and that work was just getting in the way and causing too much stress for her and her loved ones.
Then, after about 2 weeks had lapsed, she approached me in the office with this big smile on her face and while looking straight at me she said ” Rafia, I want to thank you so much for all the advice that you had given me a few weeks ago regarding my overall appearance. I went home and realized that you were right and I had to change and had to change fast otherwise I may have lost my husband for good”. She said that everything you said really worked and I feel so good not only on the outside but on the inside just as well. At this moment I was extremely overjoyed and thanked God for allowing me the opportunity to help someone out for the better. This feeling was truly rewarding and it certainly made my day.
So just a message for all of you out there and that is no matter what the circumstances may be, try your best to always look your best. It doesn’t have to be that one has to dress well or wear make-up only when leaving your home. You can still dress well and look sharp for yourself and or your family at home. I assure you that by doing this regularly you will begin to feel very confident and good about yourself and it will show.
And last but not least, always wear a big, bright smile on your face as those are contagious.
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